Counting my Blessings in the Garden...

Hi, it's Brenda once again planting another blog post. This time I'm going to explore blessings. There have been many on the several journeys that I'm currently on. One, for almost 33 years and the other will be 16 this September 8th. I'm already working on incorporating a theme "Sweet 16" It will also be 8 years since the first book I coauthored was released, so double infinity there. 

Next month will be 33 years since I started on my rheumatoid arthritis (RA) journey. It took years almost 21 years to finally realize the blessing of living with this disease. It actually took a brain tumor to turn it all around. Funny how that works. It was still several years after that experience, but it finally clicked one day. I got connected with someone who was being real about what they were going through, but at the same time, offering HOPE that it was possible to manage it. 2012 was quite the year for me. It seemed like anything I set out to do, turned out to be golden. This has nothing to do with Trevor aka T Man, BOL his favorite way of communicating. I decided that I was going to start making the best of my situation of living with RA not suffering with it. Changing my mindset completely turned things around. 

On April 20, 2001, I had my first injection with a biologic. I like to think that I found myself manifesting, that this would finally be the one that would work, after trying so many other kinds of medications over the course of 10 years. I was determined to make the best of this and teach myself how to give injections, so I could remain independent. That was one thing I was not going to allow RA to hold me hostage. I still remember that day so vividly. It was a Friday and just one week before, I had been asked if I was ready to start this biologic. Are you kidding? Of course I was! Was I apprehensive? Yes, but like I said, I was determined to make this work. If you ever meet me, you will find out rather quickly, that I'm a fighter and don't give up that easily. By about the 4th injection, I was administering it myself. My mother who has since passed, helped me with the ones I did in my upper arm, because I was drawing them up with a syringe at that time. We have come a long way since then. 

This biologic truly did give me my life back. The blessings continued to unfold and I was able to continue full-time work throughout my diagnosis. On June 2nd I will be starting my 37th year at the clinic. I am proud of that accomplishment. Has it been easy? No, but I had no other choice but to forge ahead and fight! 

My next blessing was becoming a brain tumor survivor on September 8, 2008. You're probably wondering, how could this possibly turn out to be a blessing? Again, it took some time, not as long as coming to an acceptance of living with RA. The brain tumor experience changed everything. It took about 4 years, but when it did, it was beautiful. Writing came knocking at my door almost a year after I had my craniotomy. 

I have to share a crazy story with you. The day of my brain surgery as I was getting prepared, the song by Terri Gibbs 'Somebody's Knockin' was going through my head, I had no idea why. Perhaps, what would transpire almost a year later, writing. Mind blowing! 

The fact that I had been living with RA for over 17 years at the time of my brain surgery, also turned out to be a blessing. I did not have to endure physical or occupational therapy, as I was doing full range of motion exercises twice a day. I was still not quite at the acceptance stage of living with RA. 

Getting back to 2012. I had been involved in a book project where I was featured and able to share both my living with RA and being a brain tumor survivor. Quite frankly, the 2 cannot be separated. I find that they continue to intersect. I became more brave after this experience. Part of it was a promise to my mother while she was dying to live my life and grab what I want. She wanted me to be selfish, not in a bad way, but to finally do things for myself. I had helped her with my father during his illness with Alzheimer's for over 4 years on weekends. I had pretty much put my outside life on hold, so now it was time to do something for me and not feel bad about it. I made a pivotal phone call on a Monday evening and the rest is history. It was the beginning of my working with the Global Healthy Living Foundation aka CreakyJoints. all surrounding a project of dealing with RA in the workplace. Let me expound in the next paragraph.

On April 20, 2012, I worked with CreakyJoints for the first time. It was a work advocacy day surrounding my taking a biologic. You see, it was the same date that I started administering it. I actually got to pick out the date, which was really cool. If you know me, dates have even become much more of a thing since my brain tumor experience. Keeping journals has also helped immensely, to be able to go back and see significant events that have occurred. This one will always be a special memory for me. Even our weather behaved that year. We were actually able to walk on the capitol grounds with light jackets on. 

Before that day, I had a blog post published in a newsletter with Trevor being the storyteller. It was titled; A Tale of 21 Years. The only thing that I regret is that my mother never got to see her daughter blossom as an advocate. This blog was created in her memory, because she loved her garden so much. I never understood why, until I started writing. It's the one thing that is mine and I do it for therapy. I've said this many times, writing is a healing balm for me. 

Anything that I set out to do is not for recognition or prestige. I genuinely love helping others. A wise advocate and friend once said; "Helping others, makes us feel better." I had no idea that day 12 years ago, that my life would change once again. It lead to several more opportunities. I was blessed to become editor of the CreakyJoints Poet's Corner (& Artists too) for 3 years. When I was asked if this would be something that I would be interested in, I did not hesitate. I was ready for something new. I had no idea what it all entailed, but I enjoyed it so much. It kept evolving and a writing opportunity came along at the end of my time as editor. Something new was about to bloom and again, I was ready for a change. 

I had no idea that would mean contributing to several books and eventually becoming a coauthor of 2 others in the span of 2 years. Again, I did not decide to become a coauthor to become famous, I simply wanted to share my story along with all of the other contributing writers to help make a difference. I was told early on in my RA journey that I had a story to tell. Unfortunately at that time, I didn't want to talk about it with anyone. I was so careful who I shared it with. Now, it's a part of my life, but it's not my life. I've had an opportunity to share over the airwaves several times my journey of living the life of a brain tumor survivor. I was also able to share my living with RA, as I said before, the 2 cannot be separated. 

All of these opportunities have been great blessings for me. I believe with all of my heart, that this was all meant to happen. I may be a late bloomer or even late to the party, but I know that I'm on the right path. I need to be doing something of worth. It's like a drug for me. I don't care if it's behind the scenes, if it is helping someone, that is all that matters. 

I will have a quiet celebration commemorating that day in 2012. It's something I remember fondly every year, since it happened. It was a day I will never forget and all because I was brave enough to take a risk and get out of my comfort zone. 

I recently completed my 90th day of my new position at the clinic. I was determined to make this change work. It's been a great one for me. I love being able to work on the computer and know that I'm making a difference. I love that I can be organized and do things that work for me. I have problems with losing my train of thought, so that is paramount for me. 

My blessings have been many. One that continues is grocery delivery, which I started during the pandemic and have kept doing it since. You might not realize that living with RA and being a brain tumor survivor, is exhausting at best. It's even worse since the brain surgery and I was told it probably will never get better. Being able to avoid a shopping trip and having it delivered to my door has been priceless. I've had such great delivery experiences and even get to chat a bit. 

When that rheumatologist told me to go on disability and have my husband take care of me almost 33 years ago, I told him that I would work until I was unable to. At the time, I didn't think that would be long, but my grit and determination allowed me to beat the odds, 

My seed of enrichment was actually written about 12 years ago, when I was going to be participating in this great advocacy day of a lifetime. I hope you enjoy it. 

Until next time, KEEP BLOOMING! 

❤️ Brenda 

"If you face opposition on your journey, take stock and realize that you may need to take a detour, which could actually turn out to be a much better path." @blk