A Rainbow🌈Over the Garden

Well, I'm back after a brief hiatus, with another planted blog post. This one is going to be centered around an event that took place 7 years ago. As you know, there are 7 colors in the rainbow, so this is my reasoning behind the title. I always try to bring meaning to anything I set out to do. I'm a visual person, so this is the best way I know how to share something with my readers.

 

Today is my 15th Craniversary or the anniversary of having had a craniotomy to remove a right frontal lobe nonmalignant meningioma brain tumor. Boy, that was a mouthful! My life has never been the same since and to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way. You're probably thinking, why would you want to go through an experience like this? The brain is a strange organ. It doesn't weigh that much, only about 3 lbs. yet, it is one of the most important organs that we possess. It's funny but this whole experience changed me in ways, that I can't even begin to describe. My creativity became much more sharper, if that makes any sense? It took almost a year, but one day as I have shared before, I sat down and composed my first blog post. I did it all in one sitting. That's pretty much how I have composed all of my writings since. It's like the thoughts are flowing so fast and I want to get it down on paper, before it all disappears from my brain. It reminds me of what Elton John told Bernie Taupin in the movie Rocketman, when they meet for the first time, about sitting down at the piano and setting the lyrics to music.  

I've used word association to help jog my memory on many occasions. I have a humorous story to share. My last full-time job I worked for an ophthalmologist and he called me into his office one day, because he wanted to know something. He knew I would be the one to remember, because as I said, my using word association. He told me that when I died, that I should donate my brain. This was all said with tongue-in-cheek, but it wasn't until years later, that I thought about this conversation. You see at that particular time, I had no idea that I would end up with a brain tumor. After all, it had been growing slowly for at least 20 years. 

When I was in junior high every Friday in one of my classes, we would have a time for Brain Teasers. There was this one week in particular, when I had started answering the question and the teacher told me I was on the right track, but for the life of me could not figure out what the rest of it would be. I don't even remember what it was about in the first place, just the fact that he told me I was on the right track. After becoming a brain tumor survivor, I still experience times like that. I start sharing something and then someone jumps in before I have a chance to convey what I was going to say and just like that, my train of thought is gone. 

Life ebbs and flows, like our emotions. Frontal lobe syndrome came along for the ride after this experience, but it was about a month after my craniotomy that it revealed itself. It was frightening at first, because this type of emotion was foreign to me. I had no idea what was happening and thought something was seriously wrong with me. My first year of being a brain tumor survivor, was by far the most excruciating. Something as simple as someone driving over a bump on the road, would cause my head to hurt so badly. I was still healing and that took several months, before it got better. Even now there are times when the weather changes, as I now experience barometer head where it will feel like it is inflamed, much like my joints feel with rheumatoid arthritis (RA), which I have been living with for 32 years. 

The reason for my sharing all of this, leads up to an event of a lifetime. On September 8, 2016, I became co-author of a book for the first time. Now you get my rainbow theme. That was exactly 7 years ago today, on my 8th Craniversary, so it was even more special. My theme that year was "8 Shades of Grey" Every year I try to make this a day that will be meaningful and as I mentioned above about being a visual person, I try to find key words or symbols that will stand out. That particular year was the infinity symbol. 

It was a dream come true to have a book published. Seeing your name on a book cover, priceless! All I could think about was how proud my late mother would have been. It was an emotional day for many reasons. The book project was arduous at times, as there were some pretty raw events that I was sharing about my life. It was a book centered around brain injuries, strokes, etc. I have what is considered an acquired brain injury, due to having had a craniotomy. When you go through something like this, your life changes. How could it not? I'm good with it. There are times when it gets tough to handle, because of all the emotions, etc. I care much more deeply and have empathy for others and even myself. It is okay to feel this way. 

I've always had a soft spot for the underdog, as I have felt that way pretty much my whole life. I was the youngest in our family, dealt with several childhood illnesses, so I knew what it meant to struggle. I could relate to others who might have been shy, as I was. You might find that hard to believe, but I was. The whole brain tumor experience changed my personality. It has happened to stroke victims as well. They might have lost their ability to communicate but something else appears, they suddenly start creating the most beautiful pieces of artwork you have ever seen.

Let me try and explain what happened to me. I was living with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) at that time for over 17 years. I was coping better, but not quite where I wanted to be, which was the acceptance. The brain tumor experience changed all that, not overnight, as it actually took several more years before that happened, but it did. 

Everything became much more meaningful to me. I came to a realization that I had gone through something serious and made it. The question was now, what was I going to do? I didn't go through this experience for nothing. I don't believe in coincidences, but I do believe in timing.

Last year I experienced something, that I thought would never happen. As I mentioned before, I am shy by nature, but since this whole brain tumor experience, something inside of me opened up and some of that shyness has disappeared. I took a leap of faith and ended up with a friendship, which I treasure so much. You see where I'm going with this? This is part of my personality that has changed. I was having a conversation with another colleague about someone before their stroke, who pretty much kept to themselves, would not speak unless spoken to, but was always polite. After this person had their stroke, they became more engaging, by making the first move to be friendly. I get this. I would have never before my brain tumor experience taken that leap of faith. I would have been too shy or afraid that I would be rejected. Now I feel like if it doesn't work out, at least I tried by taking that first step and there are no regrets on my part. 

So for me, the blessings keep unfolding. Becoming co-author of a book for the first time, was only the beginning. I ended up co-authoring another book one year later. I also have contributed to several other books, sharing my various experiences, even one about dealing with grief, telling the story of my mother's illness and ultimately her passing. 

This blog is all about keeping that promise to my mother to live my life and grab what I want. The 2nd part I'm finally beginning to grasp after all these years. Taking that leap of faith changed my life in so many ways. So much encouragement from this friend, who has helped me to believe in myself, by going full steam ahead when it comes to creativity and this blog.  As I am planting this, my emotions are all over the place. 15 years of being a brain tumor survivor is certainly something to celebrate. My life was forever changed that day on September 8, 2008 and again on September 8, 2016, the day I became co-author of a book for the first time, 7 years ago. The book was titled; "Grief Diaries: Living with a Brain Injury" 

Here is the link for the blog post describing that experience. It is told by my storyteller and companion, Trevor, who is a golden retriever who shares tales with a dog's point of view.   

https://brendasbrainstormandtrevor.blogspot.com/2017/05/tale-of-co-author_7.html

I am starting a new feature after each planted blog post. It's called "Seeds of Enrichment" My reasoning for this is; "Enrichment of the soil for more plant growth." It seems to go along well with "Bloom with Brenda's" theme. It will be comprised of short messages, that I hope will enrich your soul. 

"Writing about your true feelings can become a source of therapy and begin the healing process." ©blk    

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜 Keep Blooming!

                                    💓 Brenda 

If you look real close at my locket that I'm wearing, you will notice a photo of our book, that I was able to make smaller. My creativity took off after this experience, for which I feel so blessed.