A Letter to My Best Friend...

Dear Mom,

 

It's Brenda, wanting to share some thoughts with you. This is our birthday month. Your birthday would have been on the 24th and mine is coming up next Monday, the 9th. I'm going to be 63 years old and honestly, it doesn't bother me. I am grateful for each day to help others. 

So much has happened since you left this earth on May 31, 2011. I fulfilled my promise and read the blog post I wrote for you in the past tense at your funeral. It even got a few laughs about the Sparrows, when I said we don't eat little birds. 

I found out that day that you used to write poetry. I never knew that and wished I could have seen some of your work. You were very creative with writing, so I can only imagine it was beautiful. It was a year after you passed, but one day I sat down and composed my 1st poem. It even ended up getting published in an online publication. I also had 2 blog posts published in 2012. You're not going to believe this, but Trevor was the storyteller for both. You said he would be my companion for many years. He earns his keep. 

I've done some things that I never thought would be possible. Here are just a few. I wonder if you know all of this and can see from Heaven? 

I did a local TV interview in my apartment with NBC ND News and an interview with The Bismarck Tribune. I have testified at our state capitol and get this Mom, the bill ended up passing. 

I was a guest on a worldwide radio show 3 times. I coauthored 2 books, and was a contributing writer to 3 others. I guess I've kept that promise to live my life after all.

I started a new blog several months ago called; Bloom with Brenda. I did in in your memory, because of your love for gardening. That was something that I never understood while you were alive, why you enjoyed it so much. 

I get it now. That is exactly how I feel about writing. I actually refer to it as planting blog posts. I've even included Trevor as a guest contributor. Writing for me is a healing balm, just like listening to music. Yes, I still love Neil Sedaka. I remember you telling me that all of his songs sounded the same. I told you that each singer has their own style and that is how you know who is singing. 

I sing from time to time. It's for my own enjoyment and I'm so thankful for the voice lessons you and dad allowed me to have. I know it was a sacrifice, as you struggled financially. 

I want you to know that I've got some good friends, who encourage me and want me to succeed. I've gotten more involved with advocacy. I guess that part of the promise is grabbing what I want. I've got several projects in the works this year already. 

I am thankful for all the values you instilled in me. I remember one of our talks in the nursing home, when I said that I hoped to be half the woman that you were. You said; "One day you will be." 

I'm doing okay. I know you were worried that your death might destroy me, but I didn't allow that to happen. I miss you every day and especially our hugs. I could tell you anything and you truly were my best friend in life after we lost dad to that awful disease, Alzheimer's. 

I'm thriving! Almost 3 years in clinical RA joint remission. The 2nd time it has happened. You were still here when it happened the first time. I celebrated my double rainbow craniversary last September 8th. That was the same day the Queen of England passed away. Remember how we always joked about celebrating our birthdays in June with her, which was actually her 2nd celebration of her birthday each year. We would do it because of the weather, meaning no snow. 

We had so much in common and would think alike in many ways. I remember you saying more than once; " I was just going to say that." You had a great sense of humor, like mine dry, but I'm good with that. 

You taught me to fight for my rights and I think that is why I became a true advocate. I advocated for you, when you needed it and now I do so for others who feel they have no voice. I continue to do it for myself as well. 

I'm glad I was able to sit down and write this to you. I wanted to tell you one last thing. Iris and I have been having weekly conversations on the phone. She always prays for me at the end of each one. 

I'm sure Sharon is singing with the angels and Bev is laughing with them. I can only imagine dad telling his stories, each time with a different version. 

I miss you and wanted you to know that your little girl is doing great things. I am keeping that promise! 

Love,

❤Brenda 

As promised at the end of my posts, I will share a poem. This is my 1st published poem from 2012. The background is a photo I took of a sunrise in North Dakota.